captains meeting suprise
by mystic-innocents
Summary: just a funny/silly little fic me and ma friend came up with. mayuri kurotsuchi has a lil ..trouble..with his.....thing..shall we say. LOL.


Captain Meeting Surprise

It was like any other Captains meeting. All the captains were lined up in there usual spots and the Captain Commander was going on about the usual boring things. Captain Hitsugaya was impatiently tapping his foot, musing on all the paper work he still had waiting for him at his desk. God knows his Vice Captain wouldn't touch it. She'd rather be out drinking with Abarai, Izuru and Hisagi. He didn't want to spend half the night doing paperwork again.

He was about to send another glace in the Captain Commander's direction to see if the long and torturous speech was winding down anytime soon, when the foot he was tapping suddenly met with something squishy. He cautiously, but curiously, looked down at it. He slowly leaned over to Captain Kyouraku and discretely elbowed him in the side. Said captain quietly snorted awake, lifted the ever present straw hat from his eyes and looked down at Hitsugaya with a raised eyebrow in question.

"What is that?" asked Hitsugaya quietly while pointing down at the squishy object his foot had encountered.

"Hmm, I'm not for sure," he whispered, "but I do know what it looks like." he continued as he started to chuckle.

Annoyed, Hitsugaya looked away. Just as he was about to look back down, he felt something slimy crawl across his foot. He squealed, much to Kyouraku's amusement, like a little girl. The 'thing' then moved down the line to Captain Kyouraku. He casually stepped out of the way while covering a smile. This gave the 'thing' ample room to make its way to the next unsuspecting captain. By then, everyone was staring in confusion at Captain Hitsugaya, wondering as to why he squealed.

"What the Fuck!?"

Everyone's attention was quickly torn away from the small, blushing captain by the uncharacteristically vulgar shout from the normally stoic Kuchiki heir as he flashstepped to the wall with a disgusted look on his face. Looking at him in complete shock, everyone wondered why, yet, another captain was acting odd.

By that time, the 'thing' had made its way to Captain Unohana. "Oh my, not again," she sighed; rubbing her temple with a tired look on her face. Everyone turned their curious stare to her just in time to see her step away from something.

They all watched in confusion as the 'thing' made its way to Captain Soi Fon. She quickly stepped back and yelled, "Aaahh! Yoruichi sama, what is that thing!?" Having heard enough, the Captain Commander appeared in front of Soi Fon. He suspiciously eyed the 'thing' before stabbing it with his cane to lift it up for further inspection.

Meanwhile, Captain Ukitake, trying to suppress his coughing, was failing in his attempt to calm Captains Kyouraku and Kenpachi who were laughing and cracking jokes about the situation.

The Captain Commander looked up sharply from his examination to Captain Kurotsuchi, who was patting his pockets looking around murmuring something that sounded similar to, 'Dammit, where did it go this time?'

"Kurotsuchi!!" Shouted the Captain Commander. All other activity stopped, bringing everyone's attention to Kurotsuchi. The odd scientist looked up at his name being called and saw what he had been looking for at the end of the Captain Commander's cane. He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by Captain Ichimaru.

Ichimaru stepped forward and pointed, "Isn't that…..?" but was quickly cut off by Captain Aizen clearing his throat. He then looked to the side at the 5th division captain, lowered his hand slightly and murmured with a frown, "but…" Aizen only cleared his throat again, making Ichimaru step back and sulk because his chance at making a joke was ruined.

Tousen, throughout the entire ordeal, was trying to comprehend what was going on by sound only. Finally, he asked to anyone who might listen, "What is going on? I cant see," but was sadly ignored.

Despite Captain Ukitake's efforts to calm them, Captains Kyouraku and Kenpachi began to laugh again. Captain Kuchiki's unwillingness to leave the safety of his spot on the wall where he still cringed in disgust only served to fuel their laughter. They began to snigger back and forth about the 6th division captain really being a girl not only in looks, but in his dramatic reactions.

All the while, Captain Kurotsuchi made his way to the Captain Commander where he snatched the 'thing' off the end of his cane. He spun around and swung it back and forth drawing everyone's attention to it. "You act like you've never seen one before!" he shouted so all could hear. Captain Kuchiki shrank further against the wall in disgust and Captains Kyouraku and Kenpachi fell over laughing more than before.

"Not like that!" said Kenpachi, raising up in between spouts of laughter.

"Yeah," added Kyouraku. "Mine's never fallen off and inched across the floor!"

They both fell back to the floor and laughed even harder, much to Kurotsuchi's annoyance.


End file.
